Our Military Members Deserve Better

Fuck. Not again.

That's the first thing I thought when I heard the news out of Ft. Hood last week. Since we're here because of our support of our military (and our love of our military romances), I hope you'll forgive me if I hop up on my soapbox.

When the first shooting happened (I never thought I'd have to refer to it as "first"), I was in class, studying to be a trauma therapist. We heard the news during break and spent the second half of class discussing the situation. I have since completed my training, focusing on the military and children in foster care/adoption.

And I was frustrated then as I am now. Of course, we know now that the first shooting was not committed by a soldier suffering from PTSD, although that was the assumption in the class that night. This time, the evidence points toward a soldier with mental health issues. Time may give us a better picture of the nature of his issues.

But regardless of the exact reason, it brings the weaknesses in the military's mental health system back to the front of my mind.

Mental illness in the military in epidemic in nature. Jessica Scott dealt with the topic in her recent book, All For You. If you haven't read Jessica, you should! Anyway, the suicide rate is off the charts. Military suicide rates far exceed civilian rates. I think this shooting is part of the same problems that are leading to the high suicide rates. The realistic part of me is surprised there aren't more shootings like last week's.

The programs are out there. Programs that work. Programs that help prevent PTSD from gaining a foothold. They need to be made available to all soldiers in theater and back home. Better yet, it needs to be mandatory to remove the stigma of going for help.

Our men and women deserve it. They volunteer to don the uniform to protect us. They take on dangerous situations for crappy pay because they want to, because they believe in what they do. For that service, they deserve to be taken care of. They deserve better.

They give us their all. How can we give them any less?

Stepping off soapbox now.

On a very happy note, today is my mother's birthday! So if you see Liz Forella running around, wish her a very happy birthday!!

And while I'm wishing happy birthday, my grandmother's birthday was last Saturday. Not that I'd ever divulge her age, but I can assure you she looks damn good!!

Both of these pictures were taken at my son's wedding last year. Just thought you'd like to know. :)

Happy reading!!

Felicia

Embattled Minds is LIVE!

I've had the Lost and Found series in my mind for several years now, but I've only recently started to write and release the books. I felt I was at a point in my career when I could do the stories justice. My heroes are not traditional, in that, they are all disabled. And they stay so through the end on the story.
In the prequel of the series, The Embattled Road (free at all outlets), you meet the three main heroes, catastrophically injured during the war and struggling to find a place in the world with their new reality. Book 1 of the series is Embattled Hearts. The hero in that book is wheelchair bound and angry at the world, but still struggles to find love.
I just released Embattled Minds, Book 2 of the series. This novella deals heavily with PTSD and Traumatic Brain Injury. Here's the blurb:

Zeke Foster has little to no experience with women over the past couple of years, after being injured in Afghanistan. Brutally scarred, he has no expectation that he’ll ever find a woman capable of accepting him the way he is. But he can’t help but be enamored of Ember, the waitress of a local watering hole.
Ember Norton’s life has turned into one devastating catastrophe after another. When the scarred soldier with the kind eyes brings some security to her life, she’s afraid to trust her luck. She’s been self-sufficient for a long time. But his wounded soul calls to her and she finds herself falling for him. 
In spite of the secrets he continues to keep.



Amazon~ Barnes and Noble~ Smashwords~ ARe



I enjoy writing all of my characters, but this one really tugged at my heart, because I know how our returning veterans suffer with these issues. And because of that, a portion of the proceeds from this book will go to a scholarship for a medical professional to learn to treat PTSD. 
Be kind to a veteran and happy reading!
J.M. 

J.M. at Facebook~ Twitter

PTSD and Soldiers Throughout the Wars

I was watching a video with Patrick Stewart the other day, and he was talking about domestic violence against women. The video is not filmed well, but the sound is good.
Patrick Stewart at Comicon
Basically, he was talking about growing up as a child with an abusive father who beat his mother. A  lot. When his mother would complain to the ambulance or doctor, she would be told that she MUST have instigated the incident. Her husband basically got a free pass because he was 'shell-shocked' from being in World War II. Patrick and his mother were constantly traumatized, first by the husband, then by those that didn't believe them.
For years any soldier who had problems dealing with society when they returned from war were excused. In Civil War times it was called 'irritable heart'. Later, during the World Wars, it was called 'shell shock' and 'combat fatigue'. During Vietnam studies they finally started calling it post traumatic stress.
The third book in my Lost and Found series, Embattled Minds, deals with PTSD repercussions. Specifically with a Vietnam era former soldier. It's been enlightening and saddening researching the disorder, because it is so widespread in our returning soldiers now. But the good news is, it is more easily diagnosed and treated.
Embattled Minds will be out soon, and I honestly hope it helps returning soldiers, and those non-military dealing with everyday traumas. Watch for it!

Guest Author Ann Mayburn

Three Facts of Being a Military Wife 

My husband retired from the Navy after twenty years of service, and along the way he met me. I fell in love with the man, and didn’t realize how much he was already married to his job. When he was active duty there were three people in our marriage, myself, my husband, and the US Navy. I wish someone had told me the following information about being a military wife before I got married to help prepare me.

1) Learn to Accept that you Can’t Control Everything

One of the first, and hardest, lessons I had as a military wife was that the military didn’t give a shit about any issues military families have unless you bitch about it. They may talk a good talk, throw you a picnic, etc etc but when it comes down to it your spouse is a member of the military first, and your spouse second. The military doesn’t care if you’re pregnant, you’re in the middle of a cross country move, or that they’ve changed your husband’s orders six times and you still don’t know where the hell he’s going in a months’ time. You, as the military spouse, will often find that all the careful plans you’ve made don’t mean shit. If the military says your spouse has to go, they have to go. You must either learn to accept the changes and adjust, or go insane.

2) You Are Not Alone

Now, I’m not saying every military wives group is awesome, or that every family center on base is staffed by people who give a shit, but for the most part your greatest form of support is going to come from other families in the military. These people know what you’re going through because they are going through it as well. While it’s hard to form bonds due to everyone constantly moving around, it is in your best interest to not only become involved with a military wives group for your sanity, but for the sake of your military spouse as well. A lot of the women in these groups have been there and done that, and they are more than willing to help you avoid the same pitfalls they had to suffer through. If you’re too shy to talk to people in person, join one of the thousands of online communities across the US. These are the women who are going to help you hold your shit together during a deployment.

3) Your Spouse Joined the Military, Not You

Often the decision to join the military was made before you end up meeting the love of your life, and if you come from a civilian family you might not be ready for the loss of self that comes with being a military wife. Having a quality job, meaning not minimum wage sweat shop, is difficult at best with the frequent moves that most military families go through. It’s almost impossible to work up any corporate ladder, or even become employed when you have the stigma of being a military wife. I know when I used to live in Norfolk VA my girlfriends were always so frustrated by how hard it was to get hired anywhere. They had the skills, the degree, and the willingness to work in the field they’d studied, but because employers looked at them and saw ‘military’ they’d often get passed over in favor of someone who might be with the company longer. You also are rarely in an area where you have your family and no one really knows you for who you are. Instead you become ‘Gunnery Sergeant Hill’s wife’. For a modern woman this loss of self is hard to process. What you need to remember is that after all the bullshit is done, you are still the same person you were and no one can take that from you.

I hope I’ve given some advice that someone, somewhere finds useful. I have several military romances out, but the one that I’m the most proud of is my take on PTSD and the amazing amount of courage and strength it takes to deal with it not only for the military member, but also for those that love them.  Oh, and it’s wicked hot so it is not for those that like the lights off and the doors closed. ;)

Ann Mayburn

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