What does it take to be a military wife?
I've been thinking about that quite a bit lately since my son, an LT in the USAF, is getting married at the end of the month. It's either think about that or face up to the fact that I'm old enough to have a son old enough to get married. :)
When my son was commissioned two years ago, I asked his fiancee if she was ready to be a military wife. She said that if he can handle her being in grad school, she can handle him being in the USAF. While I admired her answer, I don't think she had any clue what she could be in for. And she has it easy. My son is a developmental engineer stationed in Massachusetts. Odds are he won't deploy and may not even has to PCS (move to another base) during his four-year committment. But he is still in the military and he could deploy and could PCS.
My soon-to-be daughter-in-law is a strong, intelligent woman. She can take care of herself. I think that is a necessity for a military spouse. She has a stong sense of herself, another characteristic I think is important. She doesn't need anyone, not even my son, to make her feel complete. No matter how long my son stays in, I think she'll be just fine and be a great military wife.
Did I mention that she's stunning? :)
In my WIP, the heroine, Genevieve, is a fierce do-gooder working for a non-governmental agency that works with women and children. I'm making sure that, like my soon-to-be daughter-in-law, she is strong and intelligent and sure of herself. And sexy enough to drive the hero, Truck, out of his ever-lovin mind! Truck is part of the crew of a Spectre C-130 Gunship. He is frequently deployed and his job is dangerous. I have to make sure that Gen can handle that. As sexy as she finds him and as much as she loves him, she has to be prepared to deal with all aspects of his life because Truck has no desire to leave the USAF.
What do you think it takes to be a military spouse?
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I think all the qualities you listed. Self sufficiency, a core of strength, intelligence, and a deep abiding love for their spouse and a belief in them and their job.
ReplyDeleteHi Sheri! You're spot on about a belief in the spouse and the spouse's job.
DeleteHave no idea but I think any one who takes it on is very special it is a double commitment to them and then you also take part of their commitment to serve. A tough calling and one that would need a reserve of self confidence and strength. I lift my hat if I had one to all of them whether they be woman or men, to love without selfishness of the commitment that their spouse have to the services is powerful and hard to fathom.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Cherie. I don't know how my mom did it and I'm very glad soon-to-be daughter-in-law is willing to do it!
DeleteI'd have to go with sense of humor so you can laugh when he seems to forget you [he never forgets, though!]. And the confidence to know he hasn't forgotten you, that you are his world, and you are the reason he does what he does.
ReplyDeleteWithout that...it's going to be a long road of ups and downs and merry-go-rounds, don't you think?
Great one, Bethanne! I hadn't even thought about a sense of humor. It sure makes things easier, doesn't it??
DeleteMlitary spouses are some of the strongest people I know!! I grew up an Army brat, and watched my mom run our house like a CEO would a company. She was everything while my dad was away. All our sporting events, school activities, etc. she did it all and supported us. And I know I did not appreciate everything she did until I became and Army wife.
ReplyDeleteBeyond strength, an undying love for your spouse, and a desire to support them...humor and flexibility are must haves.
While my husband is no longer in the military, some of my best friends are still Army wives (whose husbands have deployed several times). They truly are the backbone of their families and I love and respect them beyond belief.
Good luck and congratulations to your son and his future wife. I salute them both for their service.
Hello! As a former AF brat, I know what you mean. I had no idea how strong my mom was until I was much older. Thanks for the well wishes my son and his soon-to-be wife.
DeleteI am proud to say I am a Navy wife. My hubs served 20 years (of which we were married16). It takes all the qualities you mentioned. Also, you have to be flexible and have a sense of humor. Things never seem to go the way they're supposed to. If you can roll with the punches and laugh off the stress, that helps!
ReplyDeleteHats off to you, Diane! And thanks to your husband for his service.
DeleteWas an Army wife, so i agree with what the other ladies said. it helps to if you have really good friends who are in the same situation you are and are there to help and have a moan too
ReplyDeleteHi Julie! Friends are so important, aren't they? Can't have a whine and chesse party without them, can't survive without them!
DeleteI was a Navy wife and it takes a special kind of person to be a military wife. The long separations are only part of it. You have to make decisions while your spouse is away and they have to respect them when they return. It takes extra commitment on both sides to make it work.
ReplyDeleteDonna! Thank you for your service in supporting your sailor. I wonder what's harder, the separation or the reunion?
DeleteI can't think of any attributes beyond what has been mentioned. I just know that military spouses have my utmost respect and appreciation for their service.
ReplyDeleteHey Karen,
DeleteThey have mine, too. They deserve more than just one day celebrating them.